The Interesting Relationship Between Mindset, Resilience and Confidence

Updated August 17th 2023

We could all use a little bit of extra confidence right now. It has been six weeks since the world flipped on its head. It is challenging finding the confidence in yourself to help you thrive despite the impending challenges ahead. So, we wanted to share what we feel is the secret to confidence!

Confidence is the result of the story we tell ourselves about ourselves.

What is your story? Are you someone who accepts the inevitability of change, setbacks, and challenges? Who believes in their own ability to adapt and succeed regardless? Or are you someone who is at the mercy of challenging, negative events?

Thinking of our ability to adapt to challenges as a product of the way we think about ourselves can be illuminating. But of course, there is nothing straight forward about life and what it throws our way. Even when we accept that challenges will occur, they can still surprise us and knock us sideways, leaving us feeling temporarily out of control.

The fact is: yes, many of the events of our lives are outside of our control. We are all intimately aware of that now more than ever. But the way in which we react to and interpret these events is entirely within our control. There are two key frameworks in psychology that can help us begin to change our stories and shape our own confidence.

1. Mindset

Our MINDSET is a set of beliefs that subconsciously influences the way we react to failures. The idea of failure often feels catastrophic, something that will destroy our confidence and therefore should be avoided at all costs. However, this way of thinking blocks us from understanding the secret, wonderful truth about setbacks.

Setbacks are an amazing learning opportunity. They are a springboard that can launch us forward to a better version of ourselves.

Through failing and improving, setback and response, our confidence can grow in leaps and bounds. Change your relationship with failure and setbacks by changing your mindset. Very quickly you will find yourself looking for problems instead of avoiding them.

2. Resilience

Resilience is not an innate ability to set our shoulders and plough our way through the hardship life throws our way. It is the ability to feel the sadness, guilt, shame or anger of a setback and take a deep breath (or several!). It is the power to begin the hard work of discovering the learning opportunity and recognizing how what you have learned will make you stronger next time.

This ability is honed by developing the habit of asking yourself: what can I learn from this? By focusing on this question, the storm of powerful emotions surrounding the problem will start to diminish. As these emotions lessen, your rational brain can get to work on finding your opportunity for growth. Every time you succeed at this process, your confidence in your own ability to deal with failure and setback will grow. In this moment, more than ever, it is important to work on our mindset and resilience. This work will feed our confidence and self- belief. It will help you know that you have whatever it takes to thrive despite the challenges you face.

At Adaptas, we believe that confidence, mindset, and resilience are deeply connected and constantly influencing each other. We see the influence of personal stories and how they affect our clients again and again. We have seen first-hand the incredibly positive outcomes that are possible through changing these stories. Furthermore, we have all grappled with the challenging work of confronting and developing positive habits to change our own personal stories. It is hard yet incredibly valuable work and we encourage you to give it a try.

Leadership Is A Way Of Thinking!

Update August 3rd 2023

“Leadership is a way of thinking, a way of acting and, most importantly, a way of communicating”

Simon Sinek

Business Solver’s 2018 State of the Workplace Empathy report states that 87% of CEO’s agree that a company’s financial performance is tied to empathy.

Further solidifying the focus on right-brain development, LinkedIn’s 2018 workplace report headlines that talent developers, executives and people managers agree that the development of soft skills is the top priority for talent development teams. Training in leadership, communication and collaboration are each rated as more important than role-specific skills.

As recently as ten years ago, an article on empathy in the workplace would have been too touchy-feely for most CEOs to take seriously. But it is now universally recognised as a vital workplace value that is at the heart of a strong company culture. It encourages collaboration and innovation and increases retention, productivity and profit. According to LinkedIn, 96% of employees believe it is important for their leaders to show empathy.

“Power will reside with those who have strong right-brained, interpersonal qualities”

As technology and globalisation have levelled the playing field in many sectors, more and more top companies are realising that their competitive advantage lies in the personal qualities of their talent. When Daniel Goleman published his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, in 1995, this concept was new. It has since been widely accepted that the so-called softer skills lead to tangible results and are now seen as a priority for executives—often the defining mark of a true leader.

Dublin’s annual Pendulum Summit, whose motivational speakers promote self-empowerment and mindfulness, has grown from 600 attendees in 2013 to 7,000 in 2019, testament to how many executives recognise the place personal and interpersonal skills take in a successful career.

Bestselling author, Daniel Pink (A Whole New Mind: Moving from the Information Age to the Conceptual Age) predicts that power will reside with those who have strong right-brained, interpersonal qualities such as inventiveness, empathy, and meaning.

Leadership development has gone soft

This trend is palpable among my clients and training course participants. There have always been people who were naturally inclined to create positive working environments and in improving emotional intelligence. The current mindset shift is reverberating with leaders who would previously have charged full steam ahead in the pursuit of productivity and business objectives, despite fallout around them. They now realise that there are bigger rewards in firstly, stopping to think of the human effect at all points in the productivity chain. Where the leading edge is leaning is in recognising that the people they work with will align and perform better if they feel they are trusted, that their opinion counts and that their manager or organisation cares about them.

Putting new approaches into practice can be challenging for many of the leaders I work with. It means role-modelling ideal behaviours themselves so they can expect others to manage and lead differently. Building self-awareness and introducing new ways of operating can be hard work for some. It means letting go of long-held habits, some of which have worked well in certain ways.

The impetus to seek coaching for behaviour change often comes from a lull in performance, or a recognition that teams could be more productive. But, an initial focus on business improvements, sooner or later, turns to self-reflection. A 360-feedback exercise on their own emotional intelligence and communication style from those around them, shines a light on where they could improve. Once they believe in and feel the benefits of positive behaviour change, there’s no going back. Everyone wins.

Peter Drucker said, “The leader of the past knew how to tell; the leader of the future will know how to ask.”

The ability to analyse, think critically and take decisive action are of the utmost importance for a leader and an organisation to be successful. Being an effective leader is equally about getting the right people to work and collaborate with to build and sustain a vision and a plan. Finding and keeping good talent depends on building strong relationships; on understanding people’s needs.

We are in a time of unprecedented change in every aspect of life and especially in the working world. Companies are embracing technological disruption at a pace that’s challenging to keep up with. A more diverse workforce wants to shape career paths according to individual ambitions and needs, not structured, traditional hierarchical routes. Team collaboration is a new driving force in productivity. The leaders of the future need to develop new skills to inspire a more complex and ever-evolving working environment. They need to have well developed emotional intelligence.

A central element to emotional intelligence is empathy; the ability to identify and understand another’s situation, feelings and motives; the capacity to recognise the concerns other people have. It allows us to create bonds of trust and helps to understand how or why others are reacting to situations, informing decisions.

When teams are not communication or collaborating well, work doesn’t flow. Progress is slowed or impeded. The lack of ability to experience empathy is behind much organisational bullying, employee distress and failure to sell to and retain clients. This doesn’t always mean that leaders, managers and team members are devoid of soft skills or the ability to show empathy. It can simply be that they are not versed in how to apply them effectively with colleagues and reports when there are so many goals, objectives, processes and personalities.

When communication is free-flowing, productivity is free-flowing

It may seem obvious, but an employee’s well-being and happiness plays an important role in the

performance of an organisation. The results of numerous studies prove a relationship between employee happiness and workplace engagement. Happy and engaged workers are more likely to have positive relationships with their managers and are better able to handle new challenges and changes. They also feel valued by their employer, can deal with stress more effectively and are more satisfied with their lives overall.

Instead of having open and honest conversations, many managers skirt around issues that should be discussed, allow others to ‘tell’ people what to do and miss an opportunity to let individuals take ownership of a solution. We don’t have to be perfect communicators. Listening, asking questions to gain more understanding and avoiding assumptions and planning ahead in conversations give clear signals that open communication is important. With the number of distractions in the working environment, it takes decided focus to be present in direct interactions and to current conversations, but it pays dividends.

Steps for developing empathy and retaining key people

The ability to be emphatic is a cornerstone of successful relationships. To understand an individual’s, a group’s or a market’s needs depends on an ability to put ourselves in their shoes; to understand their perspective of the world, regardless of our differing experience, beliefs, attitudes and values.

There are now numerous studies that link empathy with increased sales and with the performance of the best managers of product development teams. When it comes to staff training and client retention, an understanding and development of empathy is imperative.

Dr. Daniel Goleman isolates three reasons why empathy is so important in business today:

the increasing use of teams, which he refers to as “cauldrons of bubbling emotions”
the rapid pace of globalisation (with cross cultural communication easily leading to misunderstandings)
the growing need to retain talent.

“Leaders with empathy,” states Goleman, “do more than sympathise with people around them: they use their knowledge to improve their companies in subtle, but important ways.” This doesn’t mean that they agree with everyone’s view or try to please everybody. Rather, they “thoughtfully consider employees’ feelings, along with other factors, in the process of making intelligent decisions

For some people, forging positive, trustful connections with others comes naturally. For those who find it uncomfortable, it’s a practice that can be cultivated under the guidance of a skilled coach. Developing empathy has its own rewards: the more it’s practised, the more relationships in every area of life improve and instances of conflict dissipate. A few basic tips:

Be fully present when you are with people. Don’t check your email, look at your watch or take phone calls when a direct report drops into your office to talk to you. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone did that to you?
Don’t interrupt or dismiss concerns offhand. Don’t change the subject.
Don’t rush to give advice. It’s much more empowering to support people to realise the answers that suit them best.
Use people’s names. Remember the names of spouses and children so you can refer to them.
Smile at people. As well as improving relations with those around you, a bonus is a boost your own self-esteem and immune system.
Encourage people, particularly the quiet ones, when they speak up at meetings. A simple thing like an attentive nod can boost confidence.
Give genuine recognition and praise. Pay attention to what people are doing and catch them doing the right things. When you give praise, put a little effort into making your genuine words memorable: “You are an asset to this team because…”; “I would have missed this if you hadn’t picked it up.”; You made some very useful suggestions at the meeting, thank you for that”
Take a personal interest in people. Show people that you care, and express genuine curiosity about their lives. Ask questions about their hobbies, their challenges, their families, their aspirations.
Listen with full attention; note the tone of voice, body language, the context and any hidden emotions behind what’s being said.

A famous study by Professor Emeritus, Albert Mehrabian of UCLA, showed that when communicating about feelings and attitudes, words account for just 7% of the total message. The other 93% is in tone of voice, body language and more. It’s important to allow time to understand all aspects of a person’s communication.

Spirit at Work; inspiring leadership

The term Spirit at Work was coined by Kinjerski and Skrypnek in 2006 to explain feelings of well-being, meaning, fulfilment and connection while working. The most important factor that influences this spirit is inspiring leadership. Positive working environments help people to feel good during their working day, be happy with their organisations and enjoy better focus on tasks required.

Some standout leaders have a natural charisma that’s undeniably alluring. But any leader can develop an ability to inspire and engage colleagues by:

creating a caring culture
prioritising the welfare of their staff and working relationships
embodying behaviours that match those of the organisations’ philosophy and intentions
encouraging and helping staff to reach their goals
communicating tasks clearly
involving people in the decision-making process
delegating responsibility so people can make their own decisions about their work.

Culture trickles down from the top. Leading by example sets the tone for positive teamwork, support for colleagues and recognition of sincere application and good performance. Pamela Quinn (MD of Kuehne + Nagel Ireland, one of the world’s largest logistic companies) says: “I believe that people mirror behaviours and they tend to naturally follow the behaviours they see around them.”

US workplace research company Gallup have been looking at employee engagement for years.

They describe an engaged employee as one who is involved in, committed to and enthusiastic about her/his work and workplace. A 2016 article by Mann & Harter illustrated that, worldwide, only 13% of employees in organisations are considered to be engaged workers.

According to a study by Arakawa & Greenberg, managers who are optimistic are more engaged and more likely to manage teams that produce better results: “…managers who currently embody positive leadership are contributing to the effectiveness of not only their employees, but also the organisation as a whole.” It also showed that managers who valued their employees’ strengths, who had a positive perspective and regularly provided recognition of accomplishments had employees who were themselves optimistic and engaged. Positive leadership and optimism lead to a company culture that benefits everyone and increase the chances of success.

There is much hard evidence to show that leaders with highly developed soft skills build organisations with the strength and flexibility to meet the challenges of the most fiercely competitive environment we’ve ever seen. It pays to invest in the less tangible attributes of leaders and their teams.

Future-proof your people. Encourage life-long learning

The only thing we can be sure of as regards the future of work is that it will be very different to what we’ve been used to. Many would argue that more changes have taken place in the past 5—10 years than had in the previous 100. There are more new technologies, new approaches to management and new roles in the workplace than ever could have been imagined.

I’ve worked with Bob Savage, MD and Vice President of DELL EMC Ireland, who is a truly inspiring leader. The Cork plant is Dell’s largest manufacturing site outside the US, spanning 600,000 square feet, with 28 business functions and 44 nationalities on site speaking 26 languages. In 2017, this centre of excellence that serves a global market was voted best place to work in Ireland based on thousands of employee reviews compiled by Indeed.

Bob says “The ability to build relationships with customers, to relate to others, is one of the differentiators for employees and companies of the future. Another differentiator is a culture which encourages people to have an openness and ability to transform their skills, with a compulsion towards life-long learning”.

When asked what he looks for in employees, he says it’s a team of dynamic players and career minded people with integrity and passion who think outside the box. “The ICT area is a fast-moving environment and people need to be able to handle and embrace change.”

Creating a company culture where continual learning and development is encouraged, valued and supported by a leader promotes a self-feeding environment of positive interaction, collaboration and idea generation. People become interested and enthusiastic about bettering themselves and buying into their company vision in unison.

John Henry Newman once said, “To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.”

Not many people like rats, but they tell us much about brains and behaviour. When rats are raised in a complex and challenging environment, their brains grow new matter. The cortex, the length of neurons, the number of synapses, and the level of neurotransmitters and growth hormones all increase.

The benefits of stimulating environments are not just reserved for the young. When adult rats are

exposed to training and enriched environments, the effects of earlier nervous system damage and

genetically based learning deficits can be ameliorated.

Although it is not possible to do such invasive research with humans, there is much evidence to

suggest that our brains react in the same manner. The brain has been shaped by evolution to adapt and readapt to an ever-changing world. The ability to learn is dependent on modification of the brain’s chemistry and architecture, in a process called “neural plasticity”. Neural plasticity reflects the ability of neurons to change their structure and relationships to one another in an experience-dependent manner according to environmental demands.

The good news for learning and development in the workplace is that current knowledge and beliefs can be changed for better or worse depending on what is focused on. Science has discovered ingenious ways to use the brain’s natural pathways and traits to instil new thinking and make it long term.

How curious are you? Leadership development can accelerate by being curious.

Children ask ‘why?’ all the time. As adults, we largely lose the habit of asking questions and the instinct to be truly curious. Do we lose our curiosity once we are embedded in formal education? Or is it too important as adults to appear like we know everything?

Many people draw conclusions easily and make assumptions about other people and about themselves. They tend to make statements when people come with problems, rather than ask questions. When we consider how the brain works there is a very good reason why, as adults, we become less curious. But it doesn’t mean it serves us well.

The prefrontal cortex, PFC, is the area that juts out of the skull at the forehead and has evolved most recently. It’s the region of the brain that filters our actions. Cognitive processes including reasoning, problem-solving, planning, carrying out new and goal-directed patterns of behaviour, inhibitory control, sustained attention and decision-making all take place here. It performs the cognitive functions that allow us to read and react to social cues in everyday interactions, to use language fluently and to regulate, or manage, our emotions.

The PFC occupies one-third of the entire human cerebral cortex and is one of the last cortical regions

to undergo full myelination, during adolescence. Before it’s fully developed, we are full of questions. Once it’s formed, delivering answers, the questions diminish. But, even when it is fully formed, as adults, it’s not a given that our decisions are the best-serving ones, for ourselves or for others.

The PFC is connected to our limbic system, where emotions and memories are housed. The processing of the interaction between the PFC and the limbic system happens unconsciously, leaving us unaware how memories and emotions are at play in decision making and problem solving.

As so much information floods our awareness every second, a brain makes shortcuts, relying on what it already knows instead of working things through. Our entire nervous system is focused on keeping us safe and does whatever it needs to do to fulfil that job, without our direct awareness, a bit like on autopilot.

Well-researched training and processes can reignite the kind of creative curiosity we knew as children. Developing a habit of looking at things with an open, curious mindset can lead to more creative decisions and engages colleagues in a way that is conducive to innovation and high performance.

Dr. Celine Mullins With Project Management Paradise Podcast

Updated August 3rd 2023

GUEST PODCAST

Adaptas CEO, Dr. Celine Mullins was guest speaker on the Project Management Podcast PARADISE recently and we wanted to share it with you.

Richard from Cora Systems commented:

“Thanks again for a fantastic chat. I’ve been raving to everyone about it. It’s one of the most engaging chats from our library of 100+ episodes.”

Learning and Habit Change

Celine answers questions about communication in organisations, how you can manage limiting beliefs and how you can maximise you brain’s potential to create new habits and do things differently.

Have a listen! We would love to hear your feedback.

http://projectmanagementparadise.com/episode-102-maximizing-brain-potential-for-learning-and-change-with-dr-celine-mullins/

Listening Is The Greatest Sign Of Respect You Can Give Someone.

Updated August 3rd 2023

Good communication skills benefit workers, CEOs and companies’ performance.

Every organisation has its own culture. This is largely determined by how its people interact, communicate and make decisions. The tone of communication is set by leadership, ripples throughout all areas within a company and extends to its customers and target audience via its brand.

A positive and uplifting spirit of communication is the fabric of a strong organisational culture that influences job satisfaction, productivity and well-being at work. It goes even further; it improves retention of talented people and cuts down on absenteeism by creating a welcoming and open ethos where workers are happy to engage.

What is good communication?

Good communication is about much more than the practical sharing of information between individuals, teams, groups or departments. The way information is structured and shared, the tone of messages and personal communication styles have a big impact on how information is received and acted on.

As management consultant, educator, and author Peter Drucker said: “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”

Unfortunately, much of the communication that occurs at work is just the transmission of data. Many people don’t have the skill or don’t believe they have the time to make sure that their communication is understood by the receiver. This lack of clarity or misunderstanding is at the basis of most problems in organisations.

Employees and colleagues feel empowered when there are good communication lines between management and other levels. It builds confidence when truthful, transparent and current information is offered by superiors. It encourages the sharing of new ideas and creates safety for concerns to be expressed.

In reality, many employees resist sharing their opinions and ideas, because they don’t feel psychologically safe. Psychologically safety can be defined as the degree to which people view the environment as conducive to inter-personally risky behaviors like speaking up or asking for help. It also plays a vital role in helping people overcome barriers to learning and change in inter-personally challenging work environments.

Although the concept of psychological safety was introduced as a critical factor in helping people to learn new behaviors and overcome defensive routines 50 years ago, there has been a large body of further research on the impact of psychological safety over the past two decades, popularised by Amy Edmundson.

I love this quote from John H. Bryan, former chairman and CEO of Sara Lee Corporation

“You have to be willing sometimes to listen to some remarkably bad opinions. Because if you say to someone, ‘That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard; get on out of here!’—then you’ll never get anything out of that person again, and you might as well have a puppet on a string or a robot.”

Effective communication has a major impact on psychological safety. Distorted channels of communication or poorly structured information can lead to distrust, poor collaboration and a secretive, “them versus us” mentality, leading to interdepartmental friction or conflict. It can leave people filling in the blanks themselves, possibly incorrectly, and straying from the core values of the organisation.

Through inclusivity and collaboration, businesses thrive.

Leaders and managers can mistakenly believe that employees lack understanding of difficult issues or aren’t interested, so don’t share them. The same goes for bad news; sharing only the good puts working relationships in parent/child mode instead of those of trusted colleagues.

What do we mean by parent/ child mode? The psychologist Eric Berne developed the idea that people switch between different states of mind on a moment-by-moment basis, depending on what is happening around them. When we are in adult mode, we are rational and assertive, neither trying to control nor reacting aggressively towards others. When we are in parent, we either seek to control or we nurture (to the point where we often dis-empower other people) and when we are in child we shirk responsibility or let our emotions takeover. For example, when a manager takes a parent approach (controlling), the team member might react in child mode. And as mentioned above, when a manager is not transparent with colleagues this often sends them into parent or child mode, either looking to control or retreating from their responsibilities in their role.

Most employees, at every level, are more tuned in than some superiors give them credit for. Just as a customer who isn’t listened to may be lost, a colleague who isn’t heard or included in relevant issues can be alienated. Positive outcomes stem from being inclusive, knowing what needs to be shared, when and which methods of communication best convey it.

Encouraging a healthy communication culture between colleagues is equally important. Now, more than ever, cross-cultural teams with vastly differing perspectives need practices that build understanding, open and honest relationships for effective collaboration. It’s a strategic imperative in such a global, diverse and technologically dominated environment. One negative action, without a consistent culture of positive interaction, can have a domino effect throughout a team or department. A team member that ls left feeling dis-empowered is likely to pass this on and it begins a cycle of negativity, affecting collaboration and productivity.

I see where you’re coming from.

Interpersonal communications skills training is perhaps the most important investment an organisation must consider if it wants its people and its customers to avoid many mistakes that are made in seemingly simple interactions. It builds a foundation for the principles of good organisational communication.

Maintaining consistently positive interaction in the workplace is inherently difficult as there are many intricate aspects to how we interact which are not universally taught. Without even considering the non-verbal elements of communication, speaking alone requires the speaker to perform two cognitively demanding tasks simultaneously: conceptualising the information to be conveyed and formulating a verbal message capable of conveying it. It also involves a third cognitively demanding aspect; listening.

The meaning of even the most banal utterance is grounded in a set of fixed assumptions about what the communicator knows, believes, feels and thinks. Every individual views the world from different vantage points, like background, experience, knowledge, education and gender, creating a unique perspective. To accommodate variation in perspective, communicators must take each other’s perspectives into account. As the social psychologist Roger Brown put it, effective communication “… requires that the point of view of the auditor (listener) be realistically imagined.” However, the other’s perspective is not always obvious.

As children, we assume everyone experiences the world in the same way we do. But even though we know better as adults, our judgement of others’ perspectives can be biased by our own points of view (egocentricity). Many interactions fail to achieve the objective in hand due to lack of understanding of another’s perspective and without the feedback which could give the opportunity to correct this. It can lead to poor comprehension of tasks among colleagues and clients can walk away feeling frustrated.

Listening doesn’t always come naturally

Most people speak at a rate of 2.5 words per second, often in a noisy environment with less than clear diction. We are usually unaware how unclear our communication can be. One of the vital skills necessary to be a good communicator is to be a good listener. When colleagues or those who report to you feel listened to and heard, it builds trust and respect, setting the scene for receptivity to what you communicate on an ongoing basis.

Being an active listener means paying close attention to others, including to non-verbal cues, withholding judgement and having a willingness to understand another’s perspective. Emotion expressed non-verbally can be more telling than the words people speak. Focus on tone of voice, pace of speech, facial expressions and gestures. Listen to hear the meaning behind what’s being said.

It helps to paraphrase or summarise what you’re hearing and reflect the feelings expressed. “What I hear you saying is…” When you’re not clear what’s being communicated, make this obvious. “I don’t quite understand what you are saying, could you repeat that?” When giving feedback, make it seem like it’s coming from an ally rather than an adversary.

This is easier the more relaxed you are. When stressed, communication can be abrupt, hurried or rambling, will be difficult to understand and messages may not be absorbed and applied. Your unease may transfer onto your colleague who could act this out by passing it on. Beginning with the idea that you want to help constructively will allow your colleague to pick up the value in your feedback and go away feeling supported. Many people, while listening, are evaluating or judging what’s being said or mentally multitasking and may miss important nuances.

Kevin Sharer of Harvard Business School learned the importance of effective listening while CEO of biotech giant, Amgen:

“For most of my career, I was an awful listener in almost every possible way. I was arrogant throughout my 30s for sure—maybe into my early 40s. My conversations were all about some concept of intellectual winning and ‘I’m going to prove I’m smarter than you.’ The best advice I ever heard about listening… (was) having only one objective: comprehension … only trying to understand what the person was trying to convey to me. I wasn’t listening to critique or object or convince. … as you become a senior leader, it’s a lot less about convincing people and more about benefiting from complex information and getting the best out of the people you work with. Listening … is … the greatest sign of respect you can give someone.”

How does communications training offer benefit?

As result of such a fast-paced and pressurised modern work environment, many leaders and managers are falling short of the type of communication skills that build productive working cultures. Busy people can have blind spots. A leader could be immensely talented but unaware of how he or she may be blocking personal potential with the wrong style of communication or impeding the trajectory of others in a team.

Habitual behaviour can be the most difficult to change as it becomes automatic. It’s not easy to step outside of ourselves and view our actions, and the impact of them, objectively. It can take focus on direct feedback or specialised communication training to clearly see how interpersonal relationships play out.

Well-designed processes challenge participants to complete tasks which reflect typical workplace and life situations. They focus on specific elements of communication to illuminate both positive and negative aspects of interactions. It’s an impartial and safe environment in which to explore the effect of new styles and approaches.

A good communications trainer will lead by example and emulate the traits of a great communicator by:

knowing how to listen to participants’ opinions and needs
waiting until the right moment to interject
encouraging awareness
guiding role play that clearly demonstrates common pitfalls
allowing time for reflection and assessment of how problems can arise
adding professional and personal experience and knowing when appropriate
creating a place of safety so everyone feels free to express
offering challenge when it’s constructive
recognising differences and being open to new opinions
being genuine, authentic and human
bringing participants to a clear understanding of communication that works.

Training is an ideal environment to explore a tendency to jump to incorrect assumptions. Instead of adopting a victim mentality unnecessarily, the habit of looking for another viewpoint can be introduced. Taking time to think and assess before making rash judgments and drawing unhelpful conclusions can avoid needless tension.

Flowers and chocolates at work?

Many companies are aware that good relationships are central to a collaborative, engaged and productive workforce. The cognitive culture is often healthily maintained. HR departments look for shared intellectual values; for traits in thinking and behaviour that fit company culture and a build harmonious team.

But we are still learning how important the emotional culture is to success. In 2014, Barsade & O’Neill conducted research which found that ‘companionate love’— “feelings of affection, compassion, caring, and tenderness for others” at work significantly influences job satisfaction, teamwork, burnout and a company’s financial performance.

The research showed that simply taking a moment to say “thank you” or ask how someone is doing has a positive impact enough to translate into measurable customer/client benefit. It illustrated across a variety of organisations and industries that it was the strength of an organisations companionate love culture that determined employee engagement. Where people felt comfortable to express affection, tenderness and caring, there were higher levels of job fulfilment, more commitment to the organisation and accountability for their work.

In workplaces that don’t experience or promote companionate love there are minimal displays of affection, caring and compassion among workers. People tend to be more indifferent towards each other and are less equipped to deal with situations that are going badly. “It is the small moments between co-workers—a warm smile, a kind note, a sympathetic ear—day after day, month after month, that help create and maintain a strong culture of companionate love and the employee satisfaction, productivity, and client satisfaction that comes with it.” It isn’t enough that people get paid. Feeling appreciated and loved at work is necessary too.

Good team leaders don’t tell, they ask.

Clear and consistent communication is one of the main ingredients central to high employee engagement. But when communication is too controlling, and is a guise for micromanaging colleagues, it can be counter-productive.

BIAC is a thinking, behavioural and adjustment profiling tool created in Ireland and now being used worldwide. One of its most useful aspects is in measuring levels of controlling thinking. The best score in this trait is neither at the top nor bottom, but right in the middle.

To score highly means that a manager, boss or team leader tends to tell his or her people how to operate, instead of supporting and empowering them to creatively come up with strategies and solutions themselves. This approach can block the development of talented people and stifle inspiration. High controlling thinking impacts on psychological safety, mentioned earlier, in a negative way.

Remaining firmly in charge without trusting others to do a good job and use their own initiative doesn’t just affect others. The leader who is overly controlling also suffers by carrying too much personal responsibility and becoming stressed. Their high expectations create habitual and unconscious controlling behaviour and they often cannot see the lost opportunities to allow others to rise to a challenge or the negative impact on themselves and others.

Having a low score in controlling thinking and behaviour also has its disadvantages. It translates into weak decision-making which can allow others to take charge inappropriately, leading to a feeling of dis-empowerment and low self-esteem.

People who are centered in controlling thinking and behaviour, as measured by BIAC, have no difficulty in empowering others but are fully capable of being in charge, when required. They ask open-ended questions, genuinely consider opinions of others and remain calmer and more effective in their roles. They are particularly good team leaders and tend to build dynamic and productive departments.

The benefits of great communication skills can’t be over-emphasised. They improve all aspects of working life, contribute to better well-being for everyone and positively effect results.

A final few words from Kevin Sharer (Harvard Business School & former CEO of Amgen).

“The cultural environment, of course, is going to define every aspect of communication. If you’re in a fear-driven, toxic environment, listening is going to be almost impossible, and I’ve been in places like that. Being the CEO, however, means that you can define the culture by whom you pick for positions under you and by the standards you enforce. I’ve always tried to emphasize an environment of partnership, teamwork, trust, and respect—and anyone with a bullying tendency, we fire. Of course, it’s not perfect; we’re human beings. But we try hard to have every aspect of our culture and of the way we operate encourage the sharing of information—to listen to the facts, listen to the logic, and draw well-formed conclusions.”

“…organizations that don’t listen will fail, because they won’t sense a changing environment or requirements or know whether their customers or employees are happy. In an incredibly information-intensive, dynamic environment, you have to listen or else—to mix metaphors—you’re blind.”

The Power Of Mental Practice In developing Your Communication Skills

Updated 3rd August 2023

Want to hear something that I have always found intriguing?

You can grow your brain by simply imagining yourself practicing a skill, without ACTUALLY physically practicing that skill. Many studies have found mental practice to be nearly as effective as physical practice for skills from types of shots taken in basketball and golf, to movement accuracy and velocity in pianists, to technical skills in novice surgeons.

For example, Pascual-Leone et al (1995a) conducted transcranial magnetic stimulation study (TMS – used clinically to measure activity and function of specific brain circuits), which showed that imagined practice (in this case of a piano sequence) led to comparable expansion of cortical premotor areas responsible for controlling the fingers as actual physical practice.

So you don’t even have to actually move a finger to get the neurons communicating and neural pathways forming!

Athletes have known for years that visualization techniques (otherwise known as mental practice or mental imagery) improve performance, motivation and focus. Many athletes also use visualization to manage and reduce anxiety. This has now filtered into the business and the corporate world. Many highly successful people attribute their achievements to integrating this kind of neural influence with appropriate action. For example, research has shown that self-efficacy is significantly higher and communication skills improved in supervisors, when mental practice is used in combination with goal setting as a post-training intervention.

In case these terms are new to you, visualization refers to creating a picture in your mind of what you want to happen in reality. It can also be a ‘stepping into’ the feeling you would feel both during the unfolding of the goal and at its culmination. While imagining a scenario, you imagine the detail of the actions and the way it feels to perform in the desired way. This mental rehearsal helps minds and bodies to become trained to actually perform the skill imagined.

Beware though, the feeling throughout the process has to be as much as possible conducive to what is desired, otherwise it can hinder the likelihood of achieving the desired outcome. Focus on what you do want, rather than what you don’t want!

The Importance Of Sleep For Staff Development & Healthy Aging.

Updated August 2nd 2023

Many of us are bringing our work home with us, whether actively working at home or just thinking about it.

As mentioned in our piece last week, Norman Doidge’s book ‘The brain that changes itself’ (2007) is a truly inspiring collection of studies, real life examples and conclusions on the mould-ability of the brain.

It turns the traditional thinking that the capacity of the brain is fixed on its head and shows how the brain can reorganize itself and make new neural connections throughout life. Rather than being hardwired and wearing out with age, the brain is at your disposal to use and grow to YOUR benefit, and to promote mental longevity.

The only thing is, many of us are living lives that cause our brains to age quickly. For example, many people boast that they don’t need much sleep and many other people I know do not prioritize it because many work late into the evenings and therefore find it difficult to get the brain to shut off once they get into bed. Of course, having young children and many other things can get in the way of sleep, and often cannot be avoided. But long-term it’s imperative you don’t let the brief hours of sleep continue.

During sleep we discharge toxins from the brain include flushing out amyloid proteins in the brain (bad sleep increases levels of some proteins, such as amyloid that have been associated with Alzheimer’s disease). During sleep, we also regulate hormones that are responsible for satiety and hunger. Anyone who’s ever had a flu or a bad cold, knows how sleep helps recover our immune system, and this recovery is taking place either way, daily as our system is met with so many germs. Sleep also consolidates our memories and enhances our creativity. Are you getting enough sleep?

If you are not sleeping enough each night, which includes relaxing the brain well before you actually get into bed, then you are going to be less alert the next day, impacting your productivity, your relationships and your long-term health.

Are you getting enough sleep?

Over the coming weeks, we are releasing little snippets and tips from our upcoming Habit Change book and sending them out to you. We would love to hear your thoughts on these, if any of them resonate with you or make you think differently about your current actions, we would love to hear from you about it.

Want To Keep Your Brain Young?

Updated August 2nd 2023

Want to keep your Brain young?

In the book “The Brain That Changes Itself” Norman Doidge (2007) states that the way to stave off memory loss into old age and to keep your brain young, is to keep learning new things “learning new physical activities that require concentration, solving challenging puzzles, or making a career change that requires that you master new skills and materials.”

This is partly because the hippocampus, the part of the brain that is involved with memory, grows if it is being challenged. It also grows if you exercise regularly. Exercise is one of the items encouraged by Neuroscientists to stave off certain types of dementia.

As adults, learning and growing requires us to actively make an effort to do so. It means finding new things to learn and then focusing on these. As well as making life more fun and stimulating, it will help to hold off old-age memory loss. Worth a go, don’t you think?

National Well-Being DAY – Working Together For A Healthier Future!

Updated August 2nd 2023

What would I see if I walked into the reception of YOUR organisation between 8am and 9am this morning?

Would I notice an atmosphere of positivity and well-being.? Would I notice people who are well, happy and healthy, milling through reception? Or would I see over-tired, stressed, coffee-fueled zombies shuffling around the front doors?

As today is National Workplace Well-Being Day, it is more important than ever to reflect on the well-being of your workplace.

The Tagline is ‘Working together for a healthier future!’ What do you think of this statement?

Do YOU work together with YOUR colleagues to create a healthier future?

We’ve been talking about employee engagement, leadership, companionate love, ‘spirit of work’, communication, happiness, thinking, behaviour and all sorts in our recent blogs. Ultimately, we talk a lot about care for ourselves and for our colleagues.

Did you know that Gallup* found that Managers can greatly impact employee well-being, as well as engagement? Ultimately this all plays an important part in the performance of an organisation (Krueger and Killham, 2005).

*(Analytics and advice to help leaders and organisations solve their most pressing problems)

Improving employee engagement needs involvement and commitment from the leaders and manager (Mann & Harter, 2016). Of course it requires ownership and commitment outside of the workplace from the individual also. In my experience, work and home always impact on each other. What is important, is that to improve engagement, you need to improve well-being.

Did you ever consider that?

When I walk into an organisation that practices these things, I can feel it. From the moment I walk into reception, there’s a difference; a difference in how people greet me, and greet each other.

What are you going to do today to improve your well-being and the well-being of those around you?

International Day of Happiness!

Updated August 1st 2023

Today is International Day of Happiness.

“The International Day of Happiness recognises the relevance of happiness and well-being as universal goals and aspirations in the lives of human beings around the world and the importance of their recognition in public policy objectives.” According to the United Nations website.

Did you know that Increased happiness leads to 12% increased productivity?

Did you know that it is possible to raise your levels of happiness above your genetic setpoint?

Did you realise that your level of happiness also impacts on your health?

What is Happiness?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes happiness as “a state of well-being and contentment” and “a pleasurable or satisfying experience”.

How are you doing with your own Happiness?

Personally I struggle with this during the winter months! I force myself to SMILE as soon as I wake up. This gets the endorphins, serotonin and dopamine going! Even a fake smile is useful!

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Ever noticed, how some people are able to remain happy even when faced with adverse circumstances? Whereas some people seem to always be unhappy even when things are going well!. So why are some people happier than others?

Lyubomirsky (2001) notes that happy people interpret events and situations in a way that strengthens, maintains or promotes their happiness. On the other hand, people who are unhappy, by nature interpret their experiences in a manner that reinforces their unhappiness and negative self-views.

Objective factors such as wealth and health etc. can have effects on people’s happiness levels. At the same time, there are several psychological processes that control the impact certain events and life circumstances have on a person’s well-being (Lyubomirsky, 2001).

Mainly, people who are happier tend to have more success in work, relationships and health when compared to those who are less happy. What many people don’t realise (and per over 200 studies with students and Fortune 500 companies) is that happiness encourages success rather than the other way around.

How Happy is your workplace?

Have you ever considered, how much the happiness of you and your colleagues impacts on each of your individual success? Every considered how happiness impact on the success of your team and the organisation? Or are you, by chance, a person of the opinion that work and happiness are not related? Or perhaps you have the opinion that happiness is a luxury that only the wealthy or famous have time for?

A study entitled “Happiness and Productivity” (Oswald et al, 2015) provides evidence of a link between human happiness and human productivity. Increased happiness, according to this research, leads to 12% increased productivity. Lower happiness is systematically associated with lower productivity. This finding is consistent with the existence of a causal link continuously seen in Positive Psychology between human well-being and human performance.

According to Happiness Advantage (2010) author and Harvard Researcher Shawn Achor:

Optimistic Sales people outsell their pessimistic counterparts by 56%

Doctors put in a positive state, make an accurate diagnosis 19% faster

Students primed to feel happy before taking a math achievement test, outperform their peers

Research shows that being happy before and during work makes us more resourceful and effective. Ultimately feeling happy improves our problem-solving skills!

We know that happy people have certain ‘adaptive characteristics’ and tend to engage in certain behaviours that helps someone thrive and succeed in life. Because of that, here at Adaptas, as part of our Leadership Development Program, and Executive Coaching, we support you to cultivate and manage your own happiness and the happiness of your teams!

Check out our Leadership Module; The Adaptas Happy Leader

And here is one of my favourite TedTalks, Shawn Achor, talks about the Happines Advantage; which is worth watching over and over just for the unicorn story.

What If You Are Low In Controlling Thinking And Behaviour?

Updated August 1st 2023

It is important to make people aware of where their thinking is in this area.

Referring to the BIAC Thinking Styles process, a Team Leader or manager who is Centred in their ‘Controlling’ Thinking and Behavior will have no difficulty empowering others, but is fully capable of being in charge, if required.

They are particularly good team leaders and will tend to create the right, most effective team dynamic. So what about if you are ‘low’ in ‘Controlling’ Thinking and Behaviour?

Let’s take the case of another senior manager I worked with recently:

A finance accountant, in another global organisation, let’s call her Flo. When I first met her, she expressed that she was feeling very stressed. She also talked about two of her peers whom she was ‘afraid of upsetting’ because they are both ‘strong confident characters’, who ‘do not react well to input or feedback’. Flo never makes a decision without consulting these two peers, and often ends up performing items that are their responsibilities, even though she is extremely busy with her own activities.

Flo, on being measured by BIAC, came out as ‘low’ on ‘Controlling’ Thinking and Behaviour. What this tells us, is that she gives way and allows others to take complete control, and dictate her approach to making key decisions.

Very ‘low controlling’ belief leads to thinking and behaviour which empowers colleagues or customers to the point where they take over and dictate to you the terms, conditions and overall approach on most issues. Describing very ‘low controlling’ thinkers, customers or indeed colleagues will say ‘he or she cannot make a decision or a stand on any issue’. For the person themselves, the stress from this type of behaviour can be quite severe, as there is often an inner feeling of disappointment with their own performance and a sense of being put upon. This person will often end up doing the work of others as well as their own. They will often hesitate when faced with a decision and let others do their own thing.

Flo, I learn, has been extremely stressed and had to take a few weeks off for stress leave a few months back.

I also later find out that these two peers are, in actual fact, two of Flo’s direct reports! Her ‘low controlling’ Thinking and Behaviour has allowed her to fool herself into thinking they are at the same level of management as her!

Believe it or not, our thinking and the beliefs that they stem from, can absolutely convince us of things that are not in fact true, about ourselves and others.

Realising that your beliefs and your thinking are not useful or optimum sure is frustrating. But it is progress, and awareness means you can change your behaviour. Flo has been working on this and I am happy to report she is making great strides, and is healthier and happier in recent weeks!

Do You Have The ‘Difficult Conversations’ With Your Staff?

Updated August 1st 2023

I had an interesting encounter recently with a Managing Director, let’s call him Dom. I wanted to find out how he manages difficult conversations and communicates with his staff.

“Having difficult conversations? Listening to people? Why do I need to?” asks Dom.
“How have you survived this long without having these conversations, with a business that is 12 years old and has grown to over 100 people?” I ask.
“I delegate all difficult conversations” he says.
“Wow, that is some expertise in delegation!” I respond.

If this ‘delegating conversations’ was unusual, it would not be all that useful for me to write about and for you to read. At least he is being honest. It is often only when I ask people to give me examples of difficult conversations they have had or need to have, that it transpires they have been avoiding having many, many, many conversations they should have been having all along. My experience, as well as research, shows that not having these conversations results in lack of clarity, lack of follow through and a general disengagement by employees.

Did you know, that 1 in 2 people leave their job to get away from their manager?

Did you know that managers account for at least 70% of variance in employee engagement scores?

Did you know that employees whose managers excel at performance management activities are more engaged than employees whose managers struggle with these same tasks.?

And did you know that, clear & consistent communication — whether it occurs in person, over the phone or electronically – is 1 of the main ingredients connected to higher engagement?

Dom and I engaged in a role-play exercise, simulating a conversation that Dom had been avoiding for quite some time. Having already practiced various scenarios with his colleagues, Dom understood the importance of being an attentive listener in this particular conversation. However, during our role-play, I noticed that he appeared to be listening while only pretending to do so. Although he asked relevant questions (which is often half the battle), it was evident to me, and therefore would most likely be evident to others, that his attention was not fully engaged. Perhaps his position as the MD and the support he receives from his senior team allowed him to get away with it so far, but the consequences are becoming apparent. Dom realizes that he must address this issue promptly to prevent potential problems. He can no longer delegate important conversations; his colleagues have reached their limit.

Of course, it is everyone’s responsibility to have conversations. If you would like to consider whether you are asking questions and actually listening, see some more blogs on this topic below:

When is the last time you said Thank You to your team?

FEEDBACK – Everyone needs Feedback!

The Power of the Domino Effect in Organisations

How Can We Help Our Leaders become ‘Inspiring Leaders?’

Updated August 1st 2023

In the past week, I have spoken with a number of people across diverse organisations who are experiencing what could best be described as bullying. All of them are extremely bright and committed individuals, (a mixture of senior managers, director and chief officers) and two of them are considering resigning in coming months. I guarantee that their potential resignation will be a blow to their teams and have wide rippling effects cross-functionally and beyond.

If only this was an uncommon situation. However, unfortunately it is not. Think about it. Me, one person who had 3 separate conversations in the space of one week with 3 people who lead large teams and who are all experiencing some form of bullying from their reporting manager…this does not bode well!

If you read our last blog, you will recall the mention of Kinjerski and Skrypnek (2006), who explored what they term ‘Spirit at Work’ (having high feelings of wellbeing, feeling like your work matters and feeling connected to your colleagues; all helping to provide meaning and fulfillment in work). You will also recall that there are a number of factors required to develop ‘Spirit at Work’.

One such factor, indeed the most important factor, according to Kinjerski & Skrypnek is ‘Inspiring Leadership’

“Inspiring Leaders:

Create a caring culture.
Are caring in the sense that the welfare of their staff and work relationships are important.
Embody behaviours that match those of the organisations’ philosophy and intentions.
Encourage and help staff to reach their goals.
Communicate tasks clearly.
Involve people in the decision-making process.
Delegate responsibility so workers can make decisions about their work on their own.”

Kinjerski and Skrypnek (2006) found that a positive workplace was important in creating ‘Spirit at work’. Positive working environments help people develop a sense of spirit at work where they feel good during work, they are happy with their organisation and they focus on tasks required during work.

The people I mentioned above are experiencing the exact opposite of ‘Inspiring Leadership’.

As we all know, the workplace culture reflects the leadership within the organisation, the relationships among colleagues, the opportunities and priorities in an organisation, and how people are viewed in the organisation.

i.e. don’t expect people to show up in certain ways if you are not leading by example. A positive workplace is one where care, teamwork and support are displayed and developed by senior staff; this creates a workplace where people are able to work to their best/perform best.

Pamela Quinn (MD of Kuehne + Nagel Ireland, one of the worlds largest logistic companies) states: “I believe that people mirror behaviours and they tend naturally to follow the behaviours they see around them.”

How have your reflections been re. the Open/Arena Area (the Area known to self and others), of Johari’s Window? Are you taking the lead in this one?

If you are reading the current blogs and thinking this is all fluffy stuff, have a look around you and consider my experiences in the past week. Three people in three different organisations, two of them considering resigning. They are most definitely not working with leaders who are exhibiting ‘Inspiring Leadership’, ‘Spirit at work’ or ‘Companionate love’!

The Interesting Relationship Between Mindset, Resilience and Confidence