Are You Controlling Others Or Are You Letting Them Control You?

Are You Controlling Others Or Are You Letting Them Control You?

Updated August 1st 2023

In our most recent blog, we shared an example of someone who is High in Controlling Thinking and Behaviour.

Ted: A great guy, technically excellent, leading teams who are making an impact in his organisation globally. But at the same time, has been disempowering others who would potentially take the reigns for him in teams he has been building so that he could operate on a more strategic level.  There is also potential for some of them to get promoted; this is a very fast growing organisation and it would be much more effective, in terms of expertise and resources to promote internally straight into management positions!

Before finding out his BIAC Thinking Styles results, Ted believed he was a fair, well measured manager who managed to get on with everyone and who was doing things better than most of his peers. In actual fact, his High Controlling Thinking and Behaviour style has been doing him, his team and the organisation a huge disservice!

Ted, recently said, “I have reflected on this (his results) hugely! I am feeling a lot calmer and less stressed. Am definitely asking more open-ended questions, and stopping myself when I am becoming too controlling. In meetings I am taking a less aggressive approach and white boarding people’s opinions and talking things through with them. Before each 1-2-1, I am thinking about the controlling piece and making sure I extract ideas from people and not ram things down their throat. So all in all I am feeling good!”

A person who is centred in Controlling Thinking and Behaviour (as measured by BIAC; a thinking, behavioural & adjustment profiling tool) will have no difficulty empowering others but is fully capable of being in charge, if required.

So what about if you are Low in Controlling Thinking and Behaviour? What happens then? Tune in next week to find out…

How Controlling Are You?

Updated August 1st 2023

In our previous blog, we explored the significance of clear and consistent communication as a fundamental factor in fostering high employee engagement. However, I’ve observed that some managers mistakenly interpret clear and consistent communication as simply issuing directives and, in some cases, resorting to controlling or micromanaging their staff. True clarity and consistency in communication should encompass a more balanced approach that encourages open dialogue, active listening, and empowerment, rather than solely relying on one-way commands.

A client who truly brings this to life, has recently been promoted to a senior management position in a multinational. Let’s call him Ted. He is clearly good at what he does, with his teams leading the pace and breaking all sales targets worldwide.

Just before our most recent session together, we measured him on his thinking styles, using BIAC (A thinking, behavioural & adjustment profiling tool created in Ireland and now being used worldwide). Turns out he is extremely high in ‘Controlling Thinking’, scoring an 8.

Someone in his position needs to be a 4/5 to be effective in how they manage others, never mind the stress he is causing himself with his thinking operating at this extreme.

In my first two sessions with him, prior to completing BIAC, he told me he has ‘a very good relationship’ with everyone on his team. They’ve been beating global targets. All is great.

Except my client is stressed beyond belief. He wakes up worrying about maintaining these targets, about whether everyone on the team is doing what they have been ‘told’ to do.

Through our conversation he realises that what he thinks has been effective conversations with his staff (performance and other) has actually been him ‘telling’ them and he is suddenly aware that he has not in anyway been empowering his team and has actually been aggressive.

Through our conversation, he realises that he is partly to blame for two of his team members not getting a promotion they were in line for. Many of their KPI’s were not achieved, because of him and his controlling tendencies!

This has been a huge blind spot for him and there is now potentially massive room for improvement for himself, and also growth for the individuals on his team.

What is High Controlling Thinking?

A person who is High in Controlling Thinking and Behaviour finds difficulty letting go of control, puts down perceived challenge and will create a dependent dis-empowering culture within a team or group of colleagues. Too high on controlling usually means having to be in charge at all costs. Losing control can set off alarm bells leading to aggression, sometimes to intimidation, and ‘stress overload’ in one’s self and others.

Controlling thinking behaviour can go various directions. Some of us are high in it, some of us are low in it, and some of us are centred. See our next upcoming blog to learn more about where your Controlling Thinking might lie.

Do You Have The ‘Difficult Conversations’ With Your Staff?

Updated August 1st 2023

I had an interesting encounter recently with a Managing Director, let’s call him Dom. I wanted to find out how he manages difficult conversations and communicates with his staff.

“Having difficult conversations? Listening to people? Why do I need to?” asks Dom.
“How have you survived this long without having these conversations, with a business that is 12 years old and has grown to over 100 people?” I ask.
“I delegate all difficult conversations” he says.
“Wow, that is some expertise in delegation!” I respond.

If this ‘delegating conversations’ was unusual, it would not be all that useful for me to write about and for you to read. At least he is being honest. It is often only when I ask people to give me examples of difficult conversations they have had or need to have, that it transpires they have been avoiding having many, many, many conversations they should have been having all along. My experience, as well as research, shows that not having these conversations results in lack of clarity, lack of follow through and a general disengagement by employees.

Did you know, that 1 in 2 people leave their job to get away from their manager?

Did you know that managers account for at least 70% of variance in employee engagement scores?

Did you know that employees whose managers excel at performance management activities are more engaged than employees whose managers struggle with these same tasks.?

And did you know that, clear & consistent communication — whether it occurs in person, over the phone or electronically – is 1 of the main ingredients connected to higher engagement?

Dom and I engaged in a role-play exercise, simulating a conversation that Dom had been avoiding for quite some time. Having already practiced various scenarios with his colleagues, Dom understood the importance of being an attentive listener in this particular conversation. However, during our role-play, I noticed that he appeared to be listening while only pretending to do so. Although he asked relevant questions (which is often half the battle), it was evident to me, and therefore would most likely be evident to others, that his attention was not fully engaged. Perhaps his position as the MD and the support he receives from his senior team allowed him to get away with it so far, but the consequences are becoming apparent. Dom realizes that he must address this issue promptly to prevent potential problems. He can no longer delegate important conversations; his colleagues have reached their limit.

Of course, it is everyone’s responsibility to have conversations. If you would like to consider whether you are asking questions and actually listening, see some more blogs on this topic below:

When is the last time you said Thank You to your team?

FEEDBACK – Everyone needs Feedback!

The Power of the Domino Effect in Organisations

 

When Was The Last Time You Said ‘Thank You’ To Your Team?

Updated August 1st 2023

When was the last time you said ‘thank you’ or expressed genuine interest towards someone on your team? Or are you of the opinion that if someone performs the role they are assigned to and they get paid for it, then ‘thank you’ is not necessary?

Imagine if you knew that simply taking a moment to express gratitude or inquire about someone’s well-being could significantly enhance satisfaction and teamwork, reduce absenteeism, and create a positive impact on customers and clients. Would you then be motivated to make a more concerted effort in this regard?

As you might recall, I mentioned a study conducted by Barsade & O’Neill (2014a) in our previous blog. They discovered that the presence of companionate love, characterized by interdependence, sensitivity, warmth, affection, and connection among individuals, fosters higher employee satisfaction and improved teamwork while simultaneously reducing work absenteeism and emotional exhaustion.

They also found that this type of culture is positively related to client outcomes. When this research was carried out in a hospital setting, it found that workers who had a better emotional and caring culture directly influenced their patients who experienced better mood and satisfaction, and increased quality of life.

Barsade & O’Neill illustrated across a variety of organisations and industries that it was the strength of an organisations companionate love culture that determined employee engagement; where people could express affection, tenderness and caring, had higher levels of job satisfaction, commitment to the organisation and accountability for their work.

In workplaces that don’t experience or promote companionate love there are minimal displays of affection, caring and compassion among workers and people tend to be more indifferent towards each other. Employees in such cultures don’t get to experience the positive emotions that go with companionate love in work and they are less equipped to deal with work situations that are going badly.

I know the idea of this at all makes a lot of people very uncomfortable. But it doesn’t have to be complicated: Barsade & O’Neill illustrate that most importantly “it is the small moments between coworkers — a warm smile, a kind note, a sympathetic ear — day after day, month after month, that help create and maintain a strong culture of companionate love and the employee satisfaction, productivity, and client satisfaction that comes with it.”

I know there have been many times I have suggested to people in management positions to say ‘thank you’, or to write the odd note. I have often been asked in response to this type of suggestion, ‘isn’t it enough that people get paid?!’ or similar.

What do you think?

There are Unknown Unknowns! View yourself through Johari’s Window.

Updated August 1st 2023

I recently lead a programme on creating High Performing Teams, and our session turned to the concept of ‘Johari’s Window’. In case you haven’t heard of this concept, it was created by two American psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in 1955 and is a technique used to help people better understand their relationship with themselves as well as others.

The ultimate goal of the Johari Window is to enlarge the Open Area or the Arena Area in our picture here (i.e. the area known to self and others), without disclosing information that is too personal (i.e. so personal that it makes you uncomfortable). The Open Area is argued to be the most important quadrant, as, generally, the more people know about each other, the more productive, cooperative, and effective they are likely to be when working together.

One of the gentlemen attending the High Performing Teams programme, a managing director of an SME, mentioned that he does not feel comfortable sharing personal information with colleagues (e.g. what he had got up to at the weekend) because he doesn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable, e.g. feel like their life isn’t as prosperous as his. He also doesn’t expect them to share personal information and so keeps all conversations work-related. It’s an interesting argument.

Kinjerski and Skrypnek (2006) have explored what they term ‘Spirit at work’. ‘Spirit at work’ is described as having high feelings of wellbeing, feeling like your work matters and feeling connected to your colleagues; it helps provide meaning and fulfilment in work.  These researchers found a number of factors that contribute to ‘Spirit at work’. We will come back to all of them in future blogs, but what’s most pertinent now based on this gentleman’s argument is the following; The importance of having a sense of community among workers.

Those with high ‘Spirit at work’ have positive relationships in work that is promoted in their workplace. They develop personal relationships, they work cooperatively and they have a social life and share ‘fun times’ together.

According to the participants who have taken part in Kinjerski & Skrypneks’ various pieces of research, personal relationships are important because people know each other as people, as well as colleagues. They connect and share information with each other and they support one another. The work environment becomes like a family where there are strong connections, which provide a sense of belonging to a community. Participants in the study explained that when these personal relationships are developed it helps them to work more effectively as a team. Those who experience greater affection and caring from their co-workers perform better in their job.

There is a whole host of research showing that those who experience greater affection and caring from their co-workers perform better in their job. Barsade & O’Neill (2014a) conducted a longitudinal study looking at the emotional culture of employees and how this affects the person and their work performance. They created a theory around the culture of ‘Companionate Love’ and how this influences people. ‘Companionate Love’ they assert, is important and can greatly influence the workplace. It involves warmth, affection and connection; it is less intense and not passionate or romantic. It is linked to interdependence between people and having sensitivity towards others. The more employees feel this type of companionate love at work, the more likely they are to be engaged in work.

Over the coming weeks, consider the Open Area of Johari’s Window and ask yourself if you are developing the personal relationships and connection that lead to ‘Spirit at work’ and ‘Companionate love’? If you are not, consider the blocks (internal and external) to you from doing so and keep posted for more about Leadership, ‘Spirit at work’, Johari’s Window and more.

 

Conversations With Your Employees; Are You Asking The Right Questions?

Updated 31st July 2023

It may seem obvious, but an employees well-being and happiness plays an important role in the performance of an organisation.

Obvious, but is it being taken seriously enough, I ask?

The results of numerous studies shows that there is a relationship between employee happiness and workplace engagement. Happy and engaged workers are a lot more likely to have positive relationships with their managers, and are better able to handle new challenges and changes. They also feel valued by their employer, and as a result can deal with stress more effectively and overall are more satisfied with their lives (Krueger & Killham, 2005).

Throughout the past week, I found myself in various situations, from collaborating with groups in organisations, to engaging in heartfelt conversations with friends about their struggles in different relationships outside of work. These experiences served as poignant reminders of the challenges many of us face when attempting to have honest conversations that foster positive and flourishing relationships. It became evident that avoiding these crucial conversations can lead to a great deal of unhappiness and stress, underscoring the importance of addressing our communication barriers head-on.

Some of us skirt around the issue that we should be discussing, others ‘tell’ people what to do, and hence miss an opportunity to let the individual take real ownership of the solution. Sometimes people avoid having the conversation at all, and we’ve all seen examples of what happens then, at work and at home…

The thing is, we don’t have to be perfect communicators. We just need to listen, ask questions to understand, stop making assumptions and stop planning ahead in the conversations i.e. be present with and to the person in front of us and to the conversation that is actually happening.

I love the simplicity of the message in this TED talk, well worth a watch!:

 

Listen To Your Gut And STOP Treating The Symptoms

Updated July 31st 2023

Today’s guest blogger is David Mullins, Head Women’s Tennis Coach at the University of Oklahoma (OU)

As an effective leader, would you treat the symptom of a problem within your organization or would you work hard to try and find the source of the problem in order to prevent further issues?

My guess is that you would do everything you could to get right to the source of the issue. So why do we generally take such a different approach when it comes to our health?

Most people spend the majority of their time treating the symptoms to their health woes rather than getting right to the source.

There is so much noise out there as to what you need to be doing in order to be healthy and happy.  Few people know where to start, and just get overwhelmed and give up with all the different things they are supposed to be doing; lifting weights, yoga, cardio, meditation, sleep, relaxation, supplements etc. The list goes on and on, and there is much we can be doing to improve our health and performance but what is truly the foundation of it all?

In my experience, the first step we should all be taking to help ourselves perform at our best, is to get our nutrition working for us, not against us. At the source of it all is how our gut is handling the bacteria we are feeding it:

  • A healthy gut equals a healthy digestive system. Listen to your Gut.
  • A healthy digestive system equals better quality sleep and more energy.
  • More energy equals better relationships, exercise, and performance at work or play.
  • Better performance, relationships and exercise equals a healthy body and mind!

Everyone is on different points on the spectrum but understand that the fatigue you feel throughout the day or the terrible night of sleep you got is not because you haven’t exercised…it is most likely caused by the food you ate. We can go down the whole list of symptoms that most people are dealing with on a daily basis and source it directly back to what food and beverages they are consuming.

There is no end to the literature out there as to what we should be eating, how much of it and when, but who has time for that with our busy schedules? My advice would be to cut out a few key foods that are playing havoc on your digestive system. For the next week, notice the foods you ‘go to’ most and notice how they make you feel.

For now, start paying attention to how you feel after you eat.  Tune in to our next blog to learn about the Four foods that have a negative impact on our digestive system.

During his 12 years of coaching at a number of different elite College Athletic Departments in the U.S.A, David has garnered numerous coaching awards and helped his programs breakthrough to new heights of athletic achievement. He is currently the Head Women’s Tennis coach at the University of Oklahoma (OU) where he helps develop players for the WTA tennis tour. He also received his Master’s in Education at OU and is currently working towards his Yoga Teaching Certification.

Before starting his coaching career David was a international professional tennis player earning an ATP world ranking in both singles and doubles play while representing the National Irish team in Davis Cup play.

For more health, fitness and relationship advice please follow David on Twitter @2KidsAndASpouse

Mindfulness- Living WITH The Speed of Life!

Updated July 31st 2024

We think, say, and hear all the time:

“I can’t believe it’s already Friday!”

“We’re already into August!“

“Another year has passed so quickly”

“Where has the time gone??”

Let’s face it: we live in a world where life is literally running away from us. Not because it doesn’t like us and wants to escape from us. It’s because of how our way of living has evolved over many years; we have been surviving – and I literally mean surviving – on this planet.

Having said that, I feel an urgent need to throw a crucial question into the air for everyone out there to catch: Does our fast-paced world represent the rock-solid, inevitable nature of our life? Or are we just “living too fast“?

We always have 3 ways to deal with a challenging situation:

1: We flee.

2: We fight.

3: We adapt.

No. 1 (We flee) is ESCAPING the speed of life: I deem this as something impossible, because we might eventually grind to a halt and stand still for the rest of our life.

No. 2 (We fight) is living AGAINST the speed of life: at first this sounds like a good idea to me, because momentarily we are drowning (or suffocating – picture whichever option you like better!) in the current world of immediacy, instantaneousness, and promptness – it’s now or never!

Turning this world into the promised land where ‘time“ is a foreign word, is something that many of us – be it tangibly or just subcutaneously – wish and strive for.

However, I have one little issue with this: the word “against“ embodies a fight, a struggle, resistance – basically a lot of  “negative effort”. We have enough of this in our daily life already, don’t we? So we don’t want any more of this, do we?

This leaves us with the last option, No.3 (we adapt). In which we don’t deny or run away from time but instead focus on ADAPTING to the speed of life. Now what’s decisive here is that we need to understand that we have two possibilities, as well as the choice to pick one of them – just like a train track can go into different directions as its rails split into two at certain points.

The first sub-option is that we live AT the speed of life, which means that we imitate and take on all its characteristics – we basically become one with the speed of life, meaning that we will BE the speed of life!

Getting back to what I said earlier about our urge for being gratified either now or never: if we choose this option – most of the time we do it without conscious intent, (perhaps because someone out there e.g. friend, parent, media, has in fact told us to do so)- we perceive less of what is happening in the world – because all we focus on is instant gratification!

Something happens which inevitably out-smarts our vast skill-set and reduces the quality of our decision-making, as we don’t take the time to see the whole picture. This means that we have less control over what we do, and eventually we get frustrated because of where our (unconscious) decisions have lead.

If this scenario does not appeal to you, you can always opt for sub-option 2, which is living WITH the speed of life. What we need to understand here is that when we adapt to something, we have the choice of shaping what we take on, as we like, without becoming that thing itself. We can instead become our own version, living next to that thing, rather than taking on its characteristics. For example, say you don’t like your manager, who is a stressed and aggressive person. You can adapt to him/her rather, than becoming like him/her – easiest thing to do to deal with the situation would be to become stressed  and aggressive towards your manager or others. But the healthier thing to do is to learn some techniques to deal with this type of personality, and hence keep yourself calm and content.

In other words: we can let the speed of life determine how we adapt to it, or we can determine it ourselves to eventually live WITH it.

The former (sub-option 1) is the far more convenient and satisfying “low-energy-cost“-version, which will – ironically enough – lead to a “quicker“ life and therefore frustration.

The latter (sub-option 2) requires us to consciously slow down, hold on, step back, and see the whole picture.

The key is that only achieving a state of mindfulness will allow us to perceive the huge amount of options that are available to us – including living a “slower“, “longer“, and therefore a happier life.

I know why I thoroughly enjoyed writing this blog.

Written by our Guest Blogger Oliver Sifkovits (Msc, CSCS)

Oliver Sifkovits (Msc, CSCS) is a Performance Enhancement Specialist, Personal Trainer, as well as 4th belt holder in Capoeira. He has provided Strength and Conditioning service to athletes from various sports, levels, and age groups, including footballers from Hertha BSC Academy, World Cruiserweight Boxing Champion Pablo Hernandez, as well as multiple Austrian Racketlon Champion Michael Dickert. His approach is designed around improving body-mind-spirit performance and health in individuals.

 

Mindfulness- Foundations For The 7-Steps to Learning and Habit Change

Updated July 31st 2024

Are you living presently?
Or are you living focused on the next meeting, the next meal, the next email that needs to be responded to, and the next one and the next one? Are you living in the past, regretting what you have done or not done, or feeling angry at how you were treated by someone or how you didn’t make it to the gym, or ate that second croissant!

You are probably already well aware that mindfulness, one of the oldest practices in human history, has become one the newest ‘breakthroughs’ in managing thoughts and mental wellbeing in the workplace.

I started attempting to focus on living presently, using mindfulness and meditation a few years ago, (see more on this in this Irish Indo article) when approximately 20 years after being introduced to meditation and mindfulness, I finally was adult enough to start giving it a real go. The impetus was the realization that if I didn’t focus on the NOW, that life would pass me by and I’d have missed out on just experiencing rather then thinking about what was coming next.

This mindfulness lark is no easy habit to adopt! It involves being present in the here and now; when you’re eating, when you’re walking, when you’re speaking, basically in every moment. Personally, I find it challenging, as I often need to remind myself to focus entirely on the conversation at hand or savor the taste of a drink, deliberately experiencing every detail. In reality, like many others, I catch myself mindlessly juggling multiple activities throughout the day: hastily gobbling lunch between client sessions and meetings, and rushing around in a perpetual state of urgency. It’s a journey to break free from this habit and genuinely embrace mindfulness.

If it is so difficult to be mindful/ present in this moment, then why bother?

Well, there is empirical evidence that mindfulness:

  • reduces the physiological and psychological effects of stress
  • correlates with emotional intelligence
  • improves well-being and happiness
  • improves attention and emotional regulation

(see Keng, Smosku & Robins, 2011 for an extensive review of the empirical studies on the effect of mindfulness on psychological health)

Personally speaking, when I am being mindful, I feel more tuned in to the people I am with, the conversations we are having and the accompanying sensory information in the environment. I feel more grateful (which is in itself associated with reduced depression, more positive relationships, greater competence, resilience, self-acceptance, less stress, better sleep and much more!) and life feels much richer and more enjoyable.

Research also shows that people who focus on being mindful rather than focusing on the end goal or the future are more successful (e.g. Fishbach & Choi, 2012). Yes goals can help spark our initial interest, but then we must consistently focus and on the process rather than being overly focused on the end goal. It is much better for the outcome if we focus on the experience rather than the benefits. As Dr. Christian Jarrett (author of ‘Great Myths of The Brain’) said at the Learning Technologies Conference in Olympia, London I attended this week  “Once you are doing it (e.g. exercise, work-based project), let your long-term future-based mission fade into the background.”

Living more mindfully is a must if you want to learn more effectively and change habits. As I mentioned earlier, it necessitates a shift in focus. Have you given it a try yet?

Self Limiting Beliefs – Foundations for 7-Steps to Learning & Habit Change

Updated July 31st 2024

Our 3rd Foundation block for the 7-Step to Learning & Habit Change is brought to you by our guest blogger Camille Donegan. Our Beliefs, the beliefs we hold about ourselves, can be one of the biggest blocks to us making change and to having the happiness and success in our lives that we deserve. Camille tells us her story, can you identify with it? This blog also relates back to Step Number 7, our piece entitled ‘Two-Way Street, Positive or Negative thoughts.

The World Is Your Oyster – guest blogger Camille Donegan
Optimists; you may see them as unrealistic, happy-clappy people who don’t live in the real world? So why would you want to be one? Well research shows that optimists have better health and more successful careers, plus a tight correlation has been found between pessimism and symptoms of depression.

I should probably hold up my hands at this point and confess … I AM A TOTAL OPTIMIST.  When something ‘challenging’ happens to me in my life, I automatically look to see what learnings I can get from it. It doesn’t mean I don’t have fears, doubts, limiting beliefs and even some worries, it just means I don’t let them hold me back.

My dad wrote me a poem and when he passed away I included it in his memorial mass booklet.  In it, he said that the world was my oyster and all I had to do was prise it open and suck out its sweet delights! How right he was! Even though I’ve been an optimist as long as I can remember, it’s been a fairly recent realisation for me that the only thing that holds us back in this life – is ourselves.  Our own blocks, our own insecurities, our own doubts, and our limiting beliefs. Any of us can achieve anything – I truly believe that. For instance, I am currently working on getting my house overlooking the sea, plus the hot man and the gorgeous dog to go with it!

Knowing you can achieve anything (and being an optimist) doesn’t stop the voice of the inner critic though! Last week a colleague of mine announced that the next day he was going to present me as the CEO for a product we are working on to a Venture Capital Group he was pitching to. Right on cue, my limiting beliefs kicked in: “I can’t do that! I don’t know enough! I’m not smart enough! I’m not financial-savvy enough!”.

We all have a voice in our head, an inner narrator. For pessimists, this voice is predominantly negatively focused while optimists are able to over-ride the negative ‘stories’ or ‘self-talk’ quite quickly, and replace them with positives. Yet, we all have or have had some limiting beliefs regardless of how positively or negatively focused we are.

Over the next while, I invite you to start paying more attention to your inner voice. When you hear negative comments from your inner narrator, try to adapt it into self-talk which will empower and challenge you.

Once you start to become more aware of your negative self-talk, particularly reoccurring limiting beliefs, such as ‘I’m not good enough’ you can start to address them. Try ‘going vertical’ with them. Question them. Interrogate them. Ask yourself, do I believe these negative thoughts or limiting beliefs? If the answer is ‘Yes’, think “what evidence exists that this thought might not be true”. Then, think “what might be a better, healthier version of this thought”? Consciously choose to replace the negative thought or limiting belief with the new, more positive version.

That’s what I did for my big meeting…I created more empowering beliefs. I questioned each of the limiting beliefs and blocks that came up until I had dispelled most of them.

Granted, I did hit the books, and spent a lot of the night before the meeting researching. But all the reading and researching in the world would not have made me feel confident, had I not done the work on my beliefs!

Good news is in that meeting, I felt confident, informed and actually pretty relaxed.

I still need to work on my finance skills! But that’s a job for another day.

Camille Donegan is a Freelance Theatre Producer and Owner of Alive-O Productions, and a Technology Consultant. She is constantly self-developing, exploring philosophies and methodologies to enhance her experiences.

The Adaptas 7-Steps to Learning: #7 Two-Way Street, Positive or Negative thoughts, you choose!

Updated July 28th 2023

Mindset is a two-way street
Did you wake up today feeling good about yourself, looking forward to the day and life in general? Or did you wake up thinking ‘here we go again’, ‘I hate the traffic’ ‘I hate my boss’ etc?

How you feel about yourself and your life, whether you are negative, unhappy, de-motivated or on the other hand positive, happy, motivated has an impact on your ability to learn and change habits.

When we feel good; thinking, making decisions and taking action in pursuing goals require less effort.

If you have read step no.4 ‘Memory’ in our series of 7 Steps to Learning blogs, you will know how important memory is for creating habit change.

When we feel positive we are more likely to be able to pull on good memories. When we feel negative, things couldn’t get much worse for our memory; Not only are we more likely to access more negative memories, but these negative memories get in the way of accessing positive memories which in turn can interfere with getting that dopamine flowing!

Brain plasticity is a two-way street. We can drive brain change positively or negatively.

If you have read Maureen Gaffney’s book ‘Flourish’ you will have come across the 5:1 ratio.  We need 5 positives for every 1 negative in our thoughts, experiences, and feelings in order to thrive and flourish in life. As Maureen says, “If the balance remains at 3:1, three positives to one negative, you have achieved the minimum platform needed just to stay well and manage your life in an average way. If the ratio falls below 3:1, and stays down, however, you are tipped into a downward spiral from which it is hard to escape. This is when someone becomes depressed; when a relationship enters a new, destructive state; or when a team or an organisation becomes dysfunctional.”

Unwanted bad habits continue because the brain has hard-wired itself through years of repeated behaviour. We must literally tell our brain what we really want, and not what we don’t want! As discussed in earlier blogs; to create change, we must literally rewire the brain!

It’s up to you which way you want to wire it, towards the negative or towards the positive; towards the ‘I can’t do’ vs. ‘I can do’, towards the “I am a victim of circumstances’ vs. ‘I am the master of my own universe’.

In every moment of every day, we have a choice.  We often just don’t realise it, because our unconscious and our older parts of our brains exert so much control over how we behave.

Consider, in this moment, consciously, what do you have to be grateful for? Are you healthy? Do you have a job? Do you ever get to go out for dinner or to go on holidays?  If you have any or all of these, you have more than many hundreds of thousands of people around the world and more than many in your own village, town, and city.

Research in Positive Psychology repeatedly finds that those who remind themselves every day what they are grateful for are happier and more positive. So if you are going to do nothing else to support your mission of making some changes, start by doing this. I personally list off three things in my head, that I am grateful for every morning, as soon as I wake up. It’s a nice and ultimately powerful way to start the day. Do it every morning for a few weeks and smile at the same time (even if it pains you to do so) and let us know what positive changes you have seen in your life.

This brings us to the end of our 7 Steps to Learning blogs. However, as the great Mel Blanc wrote in his account of the making of Bugs Bunny, ‘That’s Not All Folks!’. There are 5 ingredients necessary to support these 7 steps. If you are looking to create real and lasting change, keep posted for more….

Seasons Greetings to you all and we look forward to an amazing 2015 helping you put these 7 Steps into practice. Happy Holidays from all at Adaptas.

The Adaptas 7-Steps to Learning: #4 MEMORY – Encoding, sorting & retrieving information.

Updated July 28th 2023

Memory is crucial for learning.
“Memory is a process of encoding, sorting and retrieving information” (Carlson, Martin & Buskist, 2004).
The brain creates predictive models about where it thinks it is going, models about performance during an attempt and models that reflect cumulative learning of those attempts to create the desired outcome. The actions that are attempted and those that resulted in better performance must be remembered. Otherwise learning cannot occur.

Theorists of memory agree that there are various stages of memory; 1) short term memory (STM) or working memory and 2) Long term memory (LTM).

Atkinson and Shiffrin’s multi-store memory model (1968) states that we take information from the external environment through our sensory organs (e.g. eyes, ears, skin etc.). This information gets moved to the STM where it stays for a short time (i.e. less than one minute; STM has a limited capacity and duration).  Only with rehearsal can information be moved to the LTM.  Peterson and Peterson (1959) found that the more time information goes unrehearsed in the STM the more difficult it is for participants to retrieve this information.

“Short term memory is the set of processes that we use to hold and rehearse information that occupies our current awareness” (Robinson-Riegler & Robinson-Riegler, 2008).

LTM consists of:

  • Declarative (explicit) memory: Knowledge of facts and events.
  • Procedural (non-declarative, implicit) memory: Knowledge of how to do things.
  • Skills and abilities.
  • Conditioning and subconscious responses.

Other than rehearsal, there are other ways to help the encoding of information from the STM to the LTM.  For example, mnemonic devices are “special techniques or strategies consciously used to improve memory – make use of information already stored in LTM to make memorisation an easier task” (Brunswick & Buskist, 2004).

These devices do not simplify or lessen information, they create a more detailed version of the information in such a way that the information is easier to retrieve at a later time.  This is possible because of the way in which the information is elaborated upon.  The information is strung together in a meaningful way.

Most approaches to training soft skills in people are missing an approach that enables learners to elaborate on what they are learning in the classroom. In my experience, the solutions are as follows:

A) Learning must be ‘applied’ in the training room, i.e. create more meaningful, emotional and elaborated opportunities to practice while in the training room, to engage both hearts and minds.

B) In line with the 70:20:10 rule, make sure that people get the opportunity to apply and practice in the context of work. In his excellent book, ‘The Learning Challenge’ (2014), Nigel Paine refers to ‘at the moment of need’ and ‘just in time’ learning, and quotes Nick Shackleton-Jones approach to learning ‘for people who care’. Here people care deeply about learning something because they have been challenged and want to/ need to solve the problem, and therefore are motivated to learn.

For a case study of the approach taken by Nick Shakleton-Jones (Director of Online and Informal Learning, BP) see Nigel’s book. You might see Adaptas mentioned there too ;-).

Ultimately, there is no point in sending a person to attend a training if they are not going to be able to apply their learning immediately (either actively in the training or ‘on the job’), because it will not get stored in their Long-Term Memory, unless they get a chance to use the information supplied immediately.

Plain and simple, we all forget what we have learned unless it is dynamic, motivating, emotionally stimulating and useful in the here and now!

Click here for more Adaptas 7-Steps to Learning