Blog

Updated August 17th 2023

We could all use a little bit of extra confidence right now. It has been six weeks since the world flipped on its head. It is challenging finding the confidence in yourself  to help you thrive despite the impending challenges ahead. So, we wanted to share what we feel is the secret to confidence!

Confidence is the result of the story we tell ourselves about ourselves.

What is your story? Are you someone who accepts the inevitability of change, setbacks, and challenges? Who believes in their own ability to adapt and succeed regardless? Or are you someone who is at the mercy of challenging, negative events?

Thinking of our ability to adapt to challenges as a product of the way we think about ourselves can be illuminating. But of course, there is nothing straight forward about life and what it throws our way. Even when we accept that challenges will occur, they can still surprise us and knock us sideways, leaving us feeling temporarily out of control.

The fact is: yes, many of the events of our lives are outside of our control. We are all intimately aware of that now more than ever. But the way in which we react to and interpret these events is entirely within our control. There are two key frameworks in psychology that can help us begin to change our stories and shape our own confidence.

1. Mindset

Our MINDSET is a set of beliefs that subconsciously influences the way we react to failures. The idea of failure often feels catastrophic, something that will destroy our confidence and therefore should be avoided at all costs. However, this way of thinking blocks us from understanding the secret, wonderful truth about setbacks.

Setbacks are an amazing learning opportunity. They are a springboard that can launch us forward to a better version of ourselves.

Through failing and improving, setback and response, our confidence can grow in leaps and bounds. Change your relationship with failure and setbacks by changing your mindset. Very quickly you will find yourself looking for problems instead of avoiding them.

2. Resilience

Resilience is not an innate ability to set our shoulders and plough our way through the hardship life throws our way. It is the ability to feel the sadness, guilt, shame or anger of a setback and take a deep breath (or several!). It is the power to begin the hard work of discovering the learning opportunity and recognizing how what you have learned will make you stronger next time.

This ability is honed by developing the habit of asking yourself: what can I learn from this? By focusing on this question, the storm of powerful emotions surrounding the problem will start to diminish. As these emotions lessen, your rational brain can get to work on finding your opportunity for growth. Every time you succeed at this process, your confidence in your own ability to deal with failure and setback will grow. In this moment, more than ever, it is important to work on our mindset and resilience. This work will feed our confidence and self- belief. It will help you know that you have whatever it takes to thrive despite the challenges you face.

At Adaptas, we believe that confidence, mindset, and resilience are deeply connected and constantly influencing each other. We see the influence of personal stories and how they affect our clients again and again. We have seen first-hand the incredibly positive outcomes that are possible through changing these stories. Furthermore, we have all grappled with the challenging work of confronting and developing positive habits to change our own personal stories. It is hard yet incredibly valuable work and we encourage you to give it a try.